Camping: A How (not?) To Guide to Success

The key to successful camping trips is to plan them at the last minute and bring as few things as possible, thus ensuring that the families in the neighboring campsites will stare at you curiously from between the zippered flaps of their 3-room chateau tents, which are located next to their overloaded mini-vans that they are using to power a portable electric grill, air conditioner, washer/dryer, and satellite TV.

Dave and I went camping last weekend. In contrast to all the fishing gear, swimming toys, tandem bikes, and chef cookout equipment that our neighbors in campsites #54 and #56 were sporting, we pulled into spot #55 with some matches, a couple of ziploc bags with food, and a tin can.

So what if we *may* have forgotten to bring any utensils?

So what if I *might* have had to resort to using the foil wrapper from a stray packet of sutures in the bottom of my backpack to make a spoon?

That's no reason for the inhabitants of campsite #54 to think we were total campground failures. That spoon worked fine!

Doesn't Dave look like he's winning???

So what if we *may* have gotten a bit lost for a moment on the hiking trail?

So what if we had to rely on a trail-marker map that *might* have been deliberately designed to instill a sense of utter desolation?

Let me zoom that in for you. You Are Here.

That translates to: You Are Here. Alone. Somewhere-ish. Bwaah-haa-haaaah!

So what if we *perhaps* tromped for several hours through tick-infested forest underbrush while all the other campers were grilling their filet mignon and playing Wii in their motorhomes? 

So what if we *possibly* had to stop hiking every 200 meters to see whether our legs were encrusted with those litte blood-sucking tick monsters, and I *maybe* emitted a delicate shriek of terror whenever I found one?

That's not a failure! Putting yourself on Tick Watch and waiting for the Lyme Disease fevers and Bell's Palsy to set in just builds character!

And character is what camping is all about! Building character is really a lot of fun!