I think at some point most of us have asked ourselves that soul-searching question: "Who am I?"
Not just "What's my name?" or "What's my background?" or "Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?" but the really truly deep questions of identity.
Who am I deep down?
What do I want?
What do I need?
Today at Target, I met someone who knows me better than I know myself.
That someone is... Target.
You see, this morning I went in and bought a two-pack of opaque tights and a new pillow. I swiped my card, made small talk with the cashier, then along with my receipt she handed me these two personalized automatic coupons:
I got home later and wanted to make a sandwich, but found that I am out of bread.
I would have opted for an omelette instead, but behold! I am also out of eggs.
How did Target know I needed bread and eggs?
AND WHY DID THEY KNOW IT BEFORE I DID??
- Option A: Target can see into the innermost recesses of my soul (and my fridge). I have found my perfect soulmate and it's a coupon generator at a big box store.
- Option B: People who buy tights and pillows also tend to need bread and eggs. My purchase demographics have profiled me as a person who buys staple groceries. Total coincidence that I ran out of both bread and eggs today.
I vote Option B. It turns out that Target's algorithms for categorizing shoppers' product purchasing tendencies are reeeeeallly good. For example, far more amazing than offering me a bread coupon, Target realized a girl was pregnant before anyone in her family did and started mailing her coupons for maternity wear, (here's a link to a great article about it in Forbes). It's both impressive and spooky to think that the data collected on our purchases can say so much more about us than we realize.
Regardless, the bottom line is that you can skip the whole journey of self-discovery that could otherwise take a lifetime. If you want to know who you truly are the quick and easy way, apparently all you need to do is go buy something at Target with your debit card and wait for the coupons to tell you about yourself. It's cheaper than a palm reading, and with way less incense odor!
Not just "What's my name?" or "What's my background?" or "Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?" but the really truly deep questions of identity.
Who am I deep down?
What do I want?
What do I need?
Today at Target, I met someone who knows me better than I know myself.
That someone is... Target.
You see, this morning I went in and bought a two-pack of opaque tights and a new pillow. I swiped my card, made small talk with the cashier, then along with my receipt she handed me these two personalized automatic coupons:
 |
| 50 cents off bread. 50 cents off eggs. |
I would have opted for an omelette instead, but behold! I am also out of eggs.
How did Target know I needed bread and eggs?
AND WHY DID THEY KNOW IT BEFORE I DID??
- Option A: Target can see into the innermost recesses of my soul (and my fridge). I have found my perfect soulmate and it's a coupon generator at a big box store.
- Option B: People who buy tights and pillows also tend to need bread and eggs. My purchase demographics have profiled me as a person who buys staple groceries. Total coincidence that I ran out of both bread and eggs today.
I vote Option B. It turns out that Target's algorithms for categorizing shoppers' product purchasing tendencies are reeeeeallly good. For example, far more amazing than offering me a bread coupon, Target realized a girl was pregnant before anyone in her family did and started mailing her coupons for maternity wear, (here's a link to a great article about it in Forbes). It's both impressive and spooky to think that the data collected on our purchases can say so much more about us than we realize.
Regardless, the bottom line is that you can skip the whole journey of self-discovery that could otherwise take a lifetime. If you want to know who you truly are the quick and easy way, apparently all you need to do is go buy something at Target with your debit card and wait for the coupons to tell you about yourself. It's cheaper than a palm reading, and with way less incense odor!
So, if the last time I was at Target I bought a roll of duct tape and a box of sudafed, what does Target think of me?
ReplyDeleteMaybe Target would think you're trying to weatherproof your house for winter and that you're currently sick with a cold.
Delete...Or that you're a meth cook.
It's a toss up, Kristi! ;)
Well, I guess that would explain why they gave me personalized automatic coupons for boiling flasks and Betty Ford rehab, when all I really wanted was a coupon for 50 cents off bread.
DeleteHa!
DeleteShortly before I was pregnant, Target sent me a coupon book full of baby related coupons. Granted, I have been confusing the heck out of them for the past three years by consistently buying bottles for Oliver to drink his Elecare from, so I do get a lot of diaper coupons printed for me at the register, but the timing on the coupon book was a bit odd.
ReplyDeleteThey sent you a baby coupon book BEFORE you were pregnant? Wow. Maybe they are prescient. Had you been buying a lot of prenatal lotion and unscented lotion?
DeletePrenatal *vitamins* that is.
DeleteYesterday I got a coupon for hair dye. Darn you Target! At least thats one thing I KNEW I needed before they coupon-ed me!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, that's funny. The day Target points out my gray hairs *might* be the day I stop shopping there.
Delete