Oh my gosh! Yukigassen! The Winter Olympics need this event!
It's organized snowball fighting, set up as a 7-against-7 sport that's a combination between Dodgeball and Capture the Flag, made all the more awesome by several features:
- The snowballs are pre-made before the competition starts. They require very precise, spherical, perfectly-sized snowballs; 90 for each team to use per minute. That means somewhere, someone gets paid for designing the snowball-making equipment, declaring what constitutes a "valid snowball," and guarding the secrets of artisan snowballery passed down through the ages. I clearly chose the wrong career.
- They have World Championships. Just picture 100 teams of hardened ultra-athletes traveling to Japan every year during the Sapporo Snow Festival to put on matching thermal jumpsuits and chuck snowballs for glory! Sapporo is home of snowstorms heavy enough to bury people. Based on the ad campaign, it's also apparently the home of a species of smiling mythical flying anime snowmen. Everyone needs more of those in their lives.
- Throwing snowballs is a wild, primal, and possibly criminal activity. In parts of Colorado and Kansas, snowballs are considered to be a type of missile and are thus illegal. That means that if you feel the need to live on the edge, having a snowball fight in Topeka can make you an outlaw. Training there for Yukigassen would be like living as Bonnie & Clyde. Exciting, right?
It's organized snowball fighting, set up as a 7-against-7 sport that's a combination between Dodgeball and Capture the Flag, made all the more awesome by several features:
- The snowballs are pre-made before the competition starts. They require very precise, spherical, perfectly-sized snowballs; 90 for each team to use per minute. That means somewhere, someone gets paid for designing the snowball-making equipment, declaring what constitutes a "valid snowball," and guarding the secrets of artisan snowballery passed down through the ages. I clearly chose the wrong career.
- They have World Championships. Just picture 100 teams of hardened ultra-athletes traveling to Japan every year during the Sapporo Snow Festival to put on matching thermal jumpsuits and chuck snowballs for glory! Sapporo is home of snowstorms heavy enough to bury people. Based on the ad campaign, it's also apparently the home of a species of smiling mythical flying anime snowmen. Everyone needs more of those in their lives.
- Throwing snowballs is a wild, primal, and possibly criminal activity. In parts of Colorado and Kansas, snowballs are considered to be a type of missile and are thus illegal. That means that if you feel the need to live on the edge, having a snowball fight in Topeka can make you an outlaw. Training there for Yukigassen would be like living as Bonnie & Clyde. Exciting, right?
I am most impressed with the Japanese snowball throwing Olympic event.
ReplyDeleteCalibrated snowballs! Rationed ammo delivery! Grown men and women travelling halfway around the world to see it! Uniformed contestants!