Saturday, November 12, 2011

McDonald's is Creepier in Canada

Last night I had a dream in which I came back to my tinypartment to find that absolutely everything I own had been stolen, right down to the last square of toilet paper, except four business suits which were still hanging neatly in my otherwise barren closet.

In the dream, I was utterly convinced of two things:

1. If the burglar had left me four suits, it must mean I was supposed to wear those as I hunted the culprit to the ends of the earth, and that I only had four days to do so.

2. The whole robbery was related to a deeply sinister plot concocted by The Hamburglar, of McDonald's fame.

Not wanting to just chalk up such a thing as irrational dream gibberish, I've been trying to figure out what exactly prompted me to dream it. I think it must have been a combination of the conversation Dave and I were having a few days back about great snippets from The Onion (follow the link for what may be one of the funniest articles I have ever read), and this picture my friend Val sent me of a road sign in Canada:

If cash levitates out of the trunk of your car whenever you open it, you might want to hide the key a bit better than that. Especially if there are gigantic burglar creeps wearing fedoras prowling around. You can't be too careful, you know.

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Putting the two together, it's clearly a recipe for a dream about being robbed blind by a hamburger-enthusiast/costumed criminal who then skips the country to head into the great white north with all my pseudo-valuables. I have no way to explain why the suits were featured in the dream. Maybe Hamburglar figured that if he has to dress up, so should I?

Have you ever had a bizarro dream but actually been able to explain what seeded it?

2 comments:

  1. Yes, I totally have!

    When I was a kid, we went to a traveling carnival and I ate a great big bag of pink cotton candy. That night, I proceeded to have a terrifying dream in which a giant blob of pink cotton candy was getting bigger and bigger and would inevitably swallow the whole world. I could see it looming on the horizon, expanding toward my house to gobble up my family. I literally woke up screaming.

    Carneys are SO not the scariest thing at the carnival. Cotton candy is.

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  2. Wait a second, are you supposed to hide your keys and money (and other "objets de valeur") in the trunk? Two problems: (1) the scary fedora burglar guy just has to read the sign to know where to find your stuff, and (2) based on my extensive research, it can be difficult to drive home with your keys locked in the trunk.

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