Monday, December 14, 2015

Compulsively lying toiletries

First, there was the GrannyScented shampoo in Kansas, March 2012. It required several minutes, a feat of superheroic strength, and my incisor teeth to get it open.  Subsequently, it required exactly 2 seconds to realize the valiant struggle had not been worth it.


Then, there was the roll of toilet paper in northern India, November 2013. It made its very best gold-printed, airbrush-artworked, individually-wrapped effort to rise above its humble station in life and become something more elegant, more aspirational, more alluring.   ...but really just proved that no matter what you call it, toilet paper still meets the same demise in the end.


And now, the trifecta is complete with the discovery of this little miracle in Vancouver, December 2015. It's in a small shapely box! The box is Tiffany blue! It's nearly the most wonderful time of the year! It literally informs you that the box contains your Fantasy!


And...it's a shower cap.
When you think Fantasy, think of sequestering your hair in an elastic-banded plastic hat. Think of a world in which your head can go Unwashed for days or weeks on end. Imagine the Luxury of knowing the only moisture that's permeating your hair in the shower is your own Glistening scalp sweat. Yes. Fantasy. Yes.


Dream big.
 

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