Sinister Knickknacks

A few weeks ago, I got a new roommate.

Hi. I'm Sarah G.: A Sarah so cool that usually
any other Sarah in my presence
ends up being referred to merely as "Other Sarah."

Initially, things were going well. Then a few days later, like a Trojan Horse, she brought something sinister, something terrible, something horribleawful into our apartment.

It was a knickknack.
  *gasp*

Hi. I'm an ultra-creepy knickknack effigy of Emperor Yong Zheng,
5th ruler of the Chinese Qing Dynasty from 1722 - 1735 A.D. 

Apparently, her family has been passing around this hideous porcelain monstrosity since 2006. Every Christmas, he gets wrapped up and inflicted on someone, who then carries the burden of ownership for the next year. This thing is going to be in my home, uninvited, with his creepy tiny glass hands hovering over me and his spooky glass eyes watching me until Christmas 2014.

Taking lemons and making lemonade, we've decided to make this very the best year in the Emperor's life. He's going to see the world. He's going to have adventures.  (...and as an ulterior motive, maybe he's going to get broken or lost in the process. Victory!)

For starters, yesterday we took him out in the middle of a blizzard.

The snow was up to the Emperor's thighs, but he bravely forged ahead.

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As more snowfall accumulated, he had to be
rescued from a 3-foot deep snow bank,
but he remained admirably calm and brave.

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He rode a dinosaur with impressive skill and finesse. 

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But he proved himself to be completely useless at making snow angels.
Tough luck, Emperor. I guess you can't be good at everything.

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Later, he coldly pushed Sarah G off a cliff
when she teased him about the snow angel thing.
Never insult the Emperor.
Let that be a lesson to you.