Aaaaaaaaaa! ...frica

I'm back in the US! Safe, sound, and even relatively gastroenterologically intact!

There are scads of stories and pictures, which I'll post over the next week or so when I've recharged a bit, but in the meantime here's my trip summarized into a kitschy numeric nutshell:

Ten airplane connections.

Nine mosquito bites.

(Malaria! Dengue fever! Hypochondriac gone wild!)

Eight interesting travel companions

(doctors...social advocates...an elphant trainer).

Seven eye surgeries

(Aided by some old-school cautery involving a hot poker and an open flame. Not even kidding.)

Six rope bridges suspended a hundred feet above the rainforest floor.

(Plus acrobatics, tree climbing, and my brief stint as a small-business owner selling coconuts, honey, and palm oil in the jungle.)

Five astoundingly skilled cab drivers

(only one of whom hit a stray goat in traffic).

Four wooden carvings hawked by delightful shysters.

("Say me your best price, my sistah!")

Three lion cubs.

(So soft. So cuddly. So happy I didn't get mauled.)

Two phenomally ugly beaded effigies of Santa Claus.

(Merry Christmas, Dad!)

One distressed child rescued from strangulation on the Johannesburg airport's moving walkway.