Kids, Random Objects, and the Fate of the Human Race

If there's any piece of medical knowledge I'm utterly certain about, it is this:

Little Homo sapiens invariably go through a phase around age 2-3 during which they feel compelled to swallow random inedible objects and/or stick stuff up their noses.

I have now seen what can only be described as a staggering number of children with beads jammed into nostrils, crayola chunks corked into lung bronchi, pennies meandering through intestinal tracts, and baby wipes burrowed into ear canals. I honestly don't understand how this makes sense as a developmental phase, but every single one of them seems to go through it. We obviously haven't gone extinct from it. On the contrary, this behavior is so pervasive in the human population, it's almost as though it was willfully bred in. So what could possibly be the evolutionary advantage? Did survival of the fittest involve having a rock irretrievably lodged up one nostril? Was there some distant ancestor who conquered the world and dominated the gene pool by virtue of the corn kernel wedged firmly inside his ear? Are the leaders of the future seriously out there right now, as toddlers, seeing if they can make the little red plastic hotel from the Monopoly game fit up their nose? Seeing whether they can inhale hotwheels cars and crayons instead of oxygen? Seeing if they can put all the change from mom's coin purse into their mouth...and...oops down it goes for a 2-day odyssey through the digestive tract? Is that the secret to survival as earth's dominant race? Honestly???

Swell. In that case, I present you with the secret formula for success:

Nostril plus bead equals total evolutionary advantage.

Why is this a jaded blog post?

Because by Tuesday, I had already worked 42 hours this week.

Because my friends & family live everywhere but Virginia.

Because I'll work an 80-hour week during Christmas.

Because Thanksgiving is likewise canceled.

Because I volunteered for this.

Wow, that was misguided.

On the bright side, I'm thinking of adopting a cat.

Unyielding Cyclists Beware!

I always appreciate when a road sign provides a detailed threat of exactly how you could die. For example, you might be about to ride your bicycle through a trapezoid-shaped pot hole, thereby crumpling the rim of your front tire and pitching you headfirst along the dotted line in a perfect parabolic trajectory (physics reigns supreme in the world of road signs), ultimately landing on your back on top of four large rocks that mysteriously float on the water. (Hmm...floating rocks. Cancel what I just said about physics.) Yield to the hazardous bridge...or else!

Ode to a rockstar sister

Check out this super cute scrapbook paper! I'm not exactly a scrapbooker. By not exactly, I mean not at all. There's an unconfirmed rumor that scrapbooking gives me hives and a facial tic. And, even so, I still think this paper is cute!

Guess who designed this awesome stationery set?

My sister, Bonnie Bell!

Ooh! And this one is hers, too!

And this one! This ridiculously adorable, estrogen-inducing one! Hers!

Did I mention that they're produced by a major company label (Me and My Big Ideas) and that they're for sale nationwide? In stores that even an un-crafter like me has probably heard of, like Michael's crafts!

Did I mention that Bonnie is talented, creative, and generally amazing?

Congratulations sisterpants! I'm really proud of you!

Random Good Times

Ooh, boy! One last round-up of other random good times in Africa: Got dancing lessons from the kids in Kasei... Saw Hannah Montana on tour... (I love how it looks like the guy in white is about to vomit out the bus window all over poor Hannah.) Swung, dangled, flipped... Learned the 12 semi-redundant secrets to healthy dentition... Did you know that Ghanaian toothpaste gives stronger teeth and strengthens enamel? Fights germs as you brush, after you brush, and maintains healthy teeth? Maintains healthy gums and helps prevent gum problems? WOW! Leapt... Became Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon... Dilated one of my roommate's eyes for practice and discovered that Julie is a very slow metabolizer of tropicamide. Oops. She still looked like this two days later...

Dabbled in sustainable development... And somewhere during all of that, actually did some real work...

It's not a medieval torture device!

It's a medical instrument! I swear!