Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Giant Cinderella

There's currently an epic battle between my rational adult self and my inner child who loved the rags-to-riches story of Cinderella and all things sparkly/delicate/glass.

First, the story:

This is an actual building recently completed in Budai township on the coast of Taiwan.
   Aside from being a 55 foot tall x 36 foot wide stiletto high heel...
   Aside from being a shiny homage to the structural triangle....
   Aside from reminding me of that episode of the Brady Bunch where Mr. Brady was supposed to design the factory headquarters for a cosmetics company in the shape of a lipstick...
   Aside from being a conspicuously expensive Sex In the City icon in the middle of an impoverished region...
   Aside from all that, apparently it is a church.

Not merely a church, but a church specifically intended to attract women to visit.
Not visit to worship (since it won't even offer regular church services), but visit to throw fancy weddings and serve as a "blissful, romantic avenue" for photo shoots. They serve tea and cakes inside.
----------------------------
Now, the internal battle between my thoughts:
A. It's like a freak tornado picked up a piece of Disneyland and dropped it off on a random beach in Taiwan. I can practically picture 200 little girls still packed inside that giant shoe shortly after the tornado touched down, wearing their Frozen costumes, wondering why the building was shaking, why the view out the window doesn't look like 'Merica anymore, and impatiently asking their parents when the Disney Princesses are going to show up to take selfies with them.

B. Ooooooh. Preeettty.  Clean lines. Great light.

C. Ewwwwww. Tacky.  Giant shoe. Giant freaking shoe.

D. It's a bit patronizingly on-the-nose, isn't it? Building a shiny glass slipper as a way to lure women to visit? Don't bother trying to draw us in with ideas, roads to personal growth, a sense of community, or a chance to be involved in something greater than ourselves. Just build us a sparkly shoe, and we'll show up in mindless droves, compelled by the Uterine Gods to make a pilgrimage to the Holy Highest High Heel.
Pilgims, all.
E. I have a deep and difficult-to-articulate objection to claiming this structure is a church. There appears to be nothing to worship there, except vanity and money.

In the name of the Dollar, the Yen, and the Holy Gulden: Amen.
F. The "blissful, romantic" building was apparently inspired by a love story. *swoon*
   ...except that it's more of a tragic horror story. According to local history, there was a girl who was hoping to get married but instead she developed Blackfoot Disease. Basically, the arsenic content in the local artesian wells was so high that it caused the arteries in her legs to shrivel up and stop flowing, so both her legs turned black and necrotic and had to be amputated. Poisoned by insoluble heavy metals, immobilized, and abandoned by any romantic prospects, instead of getting married she spent the rest of her life single, dependent, and living in a church.  NOT SWOON. What insensitive cad came up with this idea of building a DisneySparkleCommercialWeddingChapel in reference to her memory?
No. Seriously.
Epidemic heavy metal toxicity is a
reason to launch a public health campaign,
not a reason to build a Chapel O' Love.
G. This is a very expensive building ($680k) in a fairly poor region, whose stated purpose is to inspire women to dress up and come to lavish wedding parties. Will that be a source of inspiration? I do remember growing up without much money, catching glimpses of lovely inspiring things, and dreaming that someday I'd find a way to go visit beautiful places like this. Or will it be a source of social pressure luring impoverished people to go into debt buying things they don't need and can't afford?
"Sweetheart, if you'd go ahead and spend
$1.36 million for a giant pair of those pretty glass slippers,
you just might live happily ever after."
H. Other.


 

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