Last week, I saw this comic by New York City-based illustrator Yao Xiao and started trying it out the next day. It's already been a game-changer for me. I've been amazed by how many times a day the 'Thanks vs Sorry' decision comes up, and how much more positive the encounter feels when I say that I appreciate someone's (fill in positive behavior) rather than saying I'm sorry for my own (perceived personal shortcoming).
This is not to imply we should never say sorry. Sometimes, there is actual wrongdoing, fault, guilt, and the legitimate need to repair it with a sincere apology.
However, for me it's been surprising to realize that many of the times when I say sorry, I'm actually apologizing for situations beyond my control as though the personal guilt for them should belong to me anyway. Even more of a revelation has been seeing how thanking someone for understanding puts the whole encounter on different footing.
Instead of "Sorry to bother you,"
there's "Thank you for being available to help out."
Instead of "Sorry I'm doing this so slowly,"
there's "Thanks for letting me take the time to do this right."
Instead of "Sorry I'm so clueless about this,"
there's "Thank you for teaching me more about it."
Instead of "Sorry this blog is lame,"
there's "Thanks for reading!"
Wow, I can 100% relate to this! Thank you for sharing the comic. Seems like a good one to bookmark :)
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it! As I said, it's been an absolute paradigm shift in my interactions with people, right out of the gate since I started trying it!
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