Kid stuff

Having spent the past 2 months hanging out in the Children's Hospital, I've been remembering glimmers of childhood that I hadn't thought about in a long time. I'm convinced there are certain archetypes -- certain kids that everyone remembers, no matter which school they went to or which part of the country they lived in, as though the same kid existed everywhere and just went by different names. The three most consistent are:

1. The Girl Who Had Breasts Before Anyone Else (Joyce Udall). While the rest of us 4th graders were muddling around with cooties and crayolas, she suddenly showed up with fascinating secret things like bras. All the boys were suddenly mysteriously aware of her charms (i.e. "Ooh, she must be very smart to have figured out how to grow those. I suddenly want to be her friend.") All the girls pretended it didn't matter. Think back. You know there was a Joyce Udall at your school.

2. The Kid Who Ate Glue and/or Figured Out How to Flip His Eyelids Inside Out Then Chased People Around the Playground (Jim Leveille). Oh, Jim, I had such a 5th-grade crush on you. I know that Ed Hall gave you a run for your money in the glue-eating department for a while there, but you were always the undisputed winner. Ed had to settle for being The Kid Who Carried a Superfluous Briefcase in Elementary School. Was there a Jim Leveille at your school? I've lost track of the one from mine. How did he turn out?

3. The Kid Who Got Glasses First (Sarah Jacobs). I distinctly remember the eye test at the beginning of kindergarten. I couldn't see a dang thing. I was acutely aware that all the other kids apparently could see something on that big white rectangle at the end of the hallway, and I knew I was going to fall short! Disappoint! Fail! So I did the only rational thing that came to mind: I memorized the answers all the kids ahead of me in line gave, then spouted them off when it was my turn. Pass! Huzzah! ...only to fail at the beginning of 1st grade when they re-screened with a different chart. I recall describing that I saw "a brick wall with a flower pot on top and a daisy in it," thinking I'd get bonus points for detail. Alas, it was actually just the letter "F". Glasses for me.

Were you ever one of those kids? And seriously, whatever happened to Jim Leveille?